Be more present and effective in everyday challenging and stressful situations.
What is Presence?
Have you ever been in a meeting or interview and felt that you didn’t give a good account of yourself? Have you come out of a situation like this and said to yourself “if only I’d said this” or “if only I’d done that”?
This is a common feeling for most of us at one time or another. And one of the main reasons for this is being caught up in thinking about what we should say and how, rather than being focused on being ourselves.
In other words, we’re not truly present.
Presence is about being completely yourself in difficult circumstances and not succumbing to anxiety or stress. It’s about being the best version of you that you can be and having no regrets afterwards.
It’s about being truly there in day to day situations, not distracted by thoughts, gadgets, or stress but instead engaged in the moment with whoever you are with.
It sounds simple but this can be very difficult to do.
I have just finished listening to an inspiring audiobook about this topic, “Presence”, narrated by Amy Cuddy. Amy has undertaken pioneering research on the power of body language and its effect on anxiety and stress.
She has discovered that holding power poses for 2 minutes before a stressful meeting helps to combat personal worries and doubts. It physically reduces stress and enables you to deliver an effective interview, presentation or helps you to participate in a situation to the best of your ability.
If you’re not familiar with Amy check out her Ted Talk:
‘Fake it until you become it’ is the key mantra that emerges from the talk and countless people have reported on the effectiveness of the technique she outlines.
The concepts are explored further in Amy’s book, with some practical examples that show how to integrate them into your life. I thoroughly recommend the book if this is a topic that you can relate to and would like to explore further. In the meantime, here are some key things you can do to be more present right now.
Presence Top Tips
- Power posing – The next time you are facing a big meeting or event, go to a toilet cubicle or somewhere you can be alone and stand with your hands on your hips, shoulders back, superman style, and hold this position for two minutes.
- Breathe – while you’re at it, practise focused breathing – in for a count of 2 and out for a count of 4. Repeat for a minute or so. You will feel yourself relaxing and feeling more calm and focused.
- Be who you are – don’t try to be someone that you’re not, be yourself whenever you can.
- Excitement instead of anxiety – if you are in a stressful situation, delivering a presentation or in an interview, instead of fighting those anxious feelings, think of a time when you were excited, and try to imagine how you felt at that moment. Then try to apply that feeling to the stressful situation. This one is harder to do but can make a big difference.
- Mindfulness – short, regular meditation sessions can make a huge difference to your outlook and stress levels. Download one of the many great apps for this. Calm is the one that I use, but there are many others: Buddhify, Headspace, Smiling Mind to name a few. Walking Meditations is another for those on the move.
