Having read all of Dan’s previous books I was very much looking forward to reading his latest publication. A former lawyer, he delves deep into topics that affect all of us – from personal drive to being able to sell ideas and optimise time, in a practical, helpful way.
Dan delivers again with this very enjoyable and practical book that looks into the effect regret has on our lives. He provides practical steps to use these experiences to our advantage. In his own inimitable style, he outlines the four core regrets that we all have; foundational, bold, moral and connection.
This is based on the biggest international study on regret ever undertaken. The point is to show that ‘no regrets’ is an unwise position to take and that there are lessons to be learned from the things that happen to us and the decisions we make. Overall, it’s an uplifting jaunt through this topic, I finished it in a weekend and came away with a few practical nuggets that I will put into action.
There’s a lot of research and evidence to back up the recommendations and I found the example of how Olympians perceive their performance based on their relative position particularly useful. It reminded me of Benjamin Hardy’s excellent book; The Gap and The Gain – in this case, it’s been found that silver medallists have an ‘if only’ (gap) perspective while bronze medallists have an ‘at least’ view of their success. It shows how framing a situation can help us to learn and grow from it.
One of the simple suggestions is to make sure that any decision outside the four core regrets should be made and then forgotten. Don’t dwell on those decisions. Spend your time on things that matter, and use the tools of self-disclosure, self-compassion and self-distancing to gain perspective to help you to use regrets as a force for progress in your life.
If you enjoy Dan’s books you won’t be disappointed, and if you’re new to him, this is an excellent place to start. A great book.
Purchase on: Amazon
